Advice

Advice

No matter what happens in life people always have advice for you and they always know better than you do. This couldn’t be truer when it comes to having a baby. Before said sproglet arrives everyone tells you how much your life will change and ‘oh you wont be able to do that soon.’ My first question is why cant I do it? Having Felix hasn’t actually stopped me doing anything, don’t get me wrong there have been things I now don’t want to do but it hasn’t stopped me doing what I want. Felix doesn’t actually care where he is or what he is doing as long as he has food and cuddles. He is one very inquisitive baby and loves to watch, especially the lamp in our living room he seems to have developed unconditional love for. Fingers crossed he is not one of those people who marries an object when he is older. I love him being able to explore the world around him and watch what is happening. I try my hardest to ensure he gets to experience new things all the time. This is something I have discovered that people do not like. It tends to be the older generation who seem to believe babies should spend their time sleeping. It has been commented on that I should just leave Felix in his pram if he is quiet as he will fall asleep. Actually if he is awake I want him up and experiencing life. He loves to stick his tongue out and taste the wind and sunshine, which I hope tastes like lemon curd. You soon know what Felix wants, his face is very expressive and you can always tell what the old boy is thinking. Also not having him laying down all the time helps with his little flat head issue.

I have discovered that feeding babies is where the most advice is offered. This is still quite a sensitive subject for me and I get quite angry/upset about it at times. I am sure I will write a whole blog on it at some point when I find the words to express my opinion but at the moment its just full of swearing and everyone would be highly offended. In a nutshell Felix was poorly with jaundice and lost a lot of weight. I changed how I wanted to feed the boy and I was criticised and made to feel like a bad mother. I was literally forced by the hospital to breast feed when actually I thought it was more important to get food into him as quickly as possible. The advice the hospital gave was more orders than advice. Don’t get me wrong they thought they were being helpful but actually they were just making me feel bad for wanting to change the way Felix was fed. Due to their ‘advice’ I thought they knew best.....actually they didn’t know best for me and eventually after crying lots and lots and a little bit more I discovered that you don’t actually have to listen to others advice and you can make your own mind up. It is scary being in control and making decisions that not only effect you but also the tiniest human in the world but when you realise your brain actually gives you fabulous advice it’s great. Although Felix is on milk until he is 6 months old some others think this is ridiculous and he should be on solids as soon as possible. My father being one of them. Dad if you are reading this take note again.....Felix is not having solids until he is 6 months old. As a baby I was on solids at 6 weeks! 6 weeks! That means Felix would have been on them for nearly 3 weeks now. That is crazy. I appreciate I am still alive and ok but research happens and changes things for a reason. The advice in several years time may change again but at the moment I will be following the current advice. Dad even rang me this week to say BBC news has said children who have some solids at 3 months sleep better. Brilliant, thanks father, but I am still not changing my mind. He sleeps through long enough as it is. Felix also loves pre-made milk straight from the fridge, much to the disgust of others, thank you Google for proving this is acceptable and showing I can make my own decisions. I am adult (sometimes) don’t you know.

I am not sure how many of you have problems pooing but my child 100% does. You would think he was giving birth the amount of effort he puts in to having a poo. There is squeezing, grunting, tensing, screaming and crying all finished off with a cheeky little pout to let you know he is done. When we had the first Felix struggle I asked people what would they do to help. Some of the responses and offers of advice were hilarious. They ranged from wiggling his legs to putting soap in his bum. Yes you heard me right soap in his bum! I did not do this, I swear there are laws about this, if not there should be. Each piece of advice was tried and tested and everyone believed they had a sure fire way to make my baby poo. One friend even suggested I licked him bum hole like tigers do in documentaries on the telly. Thankfully she was joking. I even offered to pay people £5 if they managed to make Felix poo, desperation had really kicked in. I tried all of the ‘normal’ advice and none of it worked. I have discovered that babies poo when the want to and where they want to and there is no point in trying to make it happen. I would be pretty pissed off if someone wanted me to poo on demand and kept wiggling my legs so no wonder Felix was. 

I have been given advice on how to get Felix to sleep ‘oh you have to rock a baby’ nope I don’t, if he wants to fall asleep he will, we are quite lucky. I have been given advice on what he should wear ‘why is your baby wearing normal clothes and not baby grows?’ Because he is a human and I love proper clothes on a baby.  We have had advice on how many days we should be spending at home. People have been horrified Felix and I have only spent 7 days at home since he was born 9 weeks ago. We like going out and doing things, if it is not effecting the care my baby receives then why would I stop being busy? Everyone has advice to share and the majority of them want you to follow it even if you actually didn’t ask for their opinion. I know they are just trying to help but pipe down love Ill ask you for help if I want it. 

In all fairness I have received one piece of advice that I really should have acted upon and that is stick L plates to the pram as I really am shit at pushing it. Ask the numerous shop stands I have knocked over, the people I have bumped into or the old lady in the wheel chair I got stuck to. Dangerous driver!!